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They may be telling their spouse that it was a 3-month long affair which entailed having sex just 4 times

What I’ve learned is that’s exactly what I needed. I needed to learn the vulnerability of talking about those areas of brokenness and need in my life. For me, that’s where healing started. Instead of avoiding that stuff, I needed to be with it, sit with it, have conversations about it. But it took me a while to get there. I will say this, once I got to the place where I felt like healing had really taken over my life, that resistance to the conversation really broke down in me. Not that I was excited to talk about my affair, but I realized that that was something that was necessary for my children, for my wife and so it changed.

When in reality the affair lasted two years and they had sex 44 times

Another possible reason for not wanting to talk about things is that the unfaithful may be trying to fight for the marriage and there may be things – especially details – that they don’t want to discuss for fear of hurting their spouse even further.