Dating With PTSD: How To Overcome Fear And Build A Relationship
By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you’re agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Know that we each have different ways of coping with the disorder. Consider attending a therapy session with us to better understand what we’re going through. Research⁷ has often praised different types of psychotherapy as effective PTSD treatments.
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This lack of representation made it harder when trying to talk to partners about my PTSD. I didn’t have a blueprint for constructing dialogue with a partner, nor an example of a female life unhindered by past trauma. I was unsure what a successful relationship involving someone with PTSD would look like, or if it was even possible. Health.com uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
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While PTSD is caused by a single traumatic event, C-PTSD is caused by long-lasting trauma that continues or repeats for months, even years (commonly referred to as « complex trauma »). It can be tough on the partners of those with PTSD to watch them struggle with the effects of trauma on their sleep. From being woken up many times during the night from nightmares or night terrors to feeling guilty about being the only one sleeping, the relationship can feel strained over the situation.
Post-traumatic stress disorder is a mental health condition that can be triggered by experiencing or witnessing something traumatic. People understand the negative impact of their mood on a love relationship. They want to improve relations, but their methods and techniques only drive partners away.
But the issues surrounding PTSD that needed to be addressed called for dedicated commitment, time, and the help of a professional — things he didn’t say he was opposed to. After years of baby steps forward and monumental steps back, I ultimately made the decision to end the relationship. Encourage your partner to attend individual therapy with a PTSD specialist.
Caretakers in relationships with people with PTSD often forget to take care of themselves. As heartbreaking as it is to admit, love often doesn’t conquer all. This realization came in waves over the three years we were together, mixed with intense feelings of guilt and inadequacy.
When we turn toward our partners, our relationships, and ourselves, we learn to create closeness and work through relational challenges. But learning how to connect in our differences with others, and learning to connect in our pain and our partner’s pain, is important because these elements exist in all relationships. No one is perfect, so sometimes the person you want to be with happens to have this illness. You already know there is much more to the person than their depression or you probably wouldn’t want to be with them. You will never be able to cure your partner’s depression, so it doesn’t serve you to try to fix it or change it.
When you understand the problem, it becomes easier to explain what PTSD is like to those around you. The first step to take when living with someone with PTSD is to encourage them to seek an assessment by a suitably qualified mental health professional as OnlineDatingCritic soon as possible. Remember that it’s acceptable to answer, “I don’t know.” Curing your partner’s anxiety isn’t necessarily possible, but you can be supportive and help them through it. Try asking your partner questions about their experience of anxiety.
Some people with PTSD may need to try different treatments to see what works for their symptoms. In relationships, we must continually assess whether we should meet the needs of our partners, our own needs, or the needs of the relationship. However, when one partner is suffering an illness, it’s easy to lose that balance because we want to help our partner feel better. But when our partner has an illness that doesn’t go away for long periods of time, we have to learn how to balance taking care of ourselves while still being supportive to our partners. When you ignore your needs, they don’t go away; they only become greater over time.
When things are difficult, it is helpful to remind yourself of the many reasons you care about your partner, rather than focusing solely on how they are when they don’t feel well. Intentionally focusing on your partner’s positive attributes is one way to support yourself in your relationship. Instead of fighting depression this way, devote yourself to learning how to live with depression. It means letting them have negative, painful beliefs, even when you really want them to see things differently.
About living with and helping someone with PTSD
If your partner, friend or family member is struggling with post-traumatic stress disorder, here’s how you can show your love and support. Your partner may feel hesitant about going to particular places, interacting with certain people, or engaging in anything that may remind them of the traumatic event. It’s important to remember not to take these actions personally and not blame them for how they act. This will differ for everyone but may include working out, socializing, or catching up on your favorite shows. Taking care of your mental health may also involve reaching out to a licensed mental health professional such as a psychiatrist, psychologist, or therapist. You can gently approach the topic if they haven’t received treatment from a licensed mental health professional.
They’re also more likely to offer help and support if needed and wanted. Witnessinga traumatic event, particularly if you are/were close to the victim/casualty. Learning about anxiety can be a significant first step in supporting your partner. The Anxiety & Depression Association of America offers support and information for spouses and partners, as well as anyone with anxiety.
