Two Different Brains In Love: Conflict Resolution In Neurodiverse Relationships
I am a therapist who specializes in helping neurodivergent people live and love to the fullest. I offer my clients a safe space to process their feelings and help them navigate those areas in life that can be a bit tricky. Deborah Courtney is a licensed psychotherapist with a private practice in New York. She integrates evidence-based, trauma-informed treatments with spiritual healing approaches to honor the connection between mind, body and spirit. Specifically, she utilizes eye movement desensitization reprocessing , somatic experiencing , ego state therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy and reiki. She’s featured in various media forms promoting holistic mental health and wellness and is a speaker on the topics of trauma, holistic mental health treatment, self-care and mindfulness.
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They are merely different angles from which to observe the same brain, functioning and expressing itself as it was created, refined, and fine-tuned by evolution to be. Growing up in the UK I myself was diagnosed with dyslexia and also suffered quite badly from dyspraxia. As a result of those conditions I left the education system without any qualification in English, could not fill out governmental forms and struggled though the job market and society. I wasn’t dealt all bad cards and I was lucky enough that I managed to learn to read at a young age and by my mid twenties had become quite proficient at it.
Organisation And Communication Habits That People Can Learn From Neurodivergent Couples
For example, if you’re really into someone and you call them too frequently, they might take it the wrong way. There’s a fine line to walk in the world of dating, and understanding the boundaries of that line will make a big difference. Neurodiversity-affirming psychotherapy, along with medical intervention when deemed appropriate, provides a focus on the strengths of the individuals, rather than the deficits, then builds on those strengths. This approach leads with the realization that neurodiverse or autistic individuals have varying needs.
Nirenberg explains that as an autistic adult, they experience fewer social restrictions than children in schools, who, for instance, are not allowed to fidget or get up from their seats in class. Learning what a person needs to effectively engage with a space is an important part of building a supportive and successful learning and working environment. These conditions account for quite a wide range of differences in brain function and behaviour, but, as an example, a person with an autistic spectrum disorder may have difficulty with multitasking or engaging in social interactions. At the same time, they may have particular strengths in areas that many neurotypical people struggle with, such as innovative thinking or having a high level of expertise on a given topic.
To view neurological, cognitive, and learning disabilities or diagnoses through the lens of neurodiversity is to acknowledge that people with neurodivergent experiences represent many diverse variations within normal human experiences. We are fighting for the right to openly be the people our brains are designed to be. Those identities are inseparable from each other and from who I am as a person.
My idea of a good time with friends is having them over to watch a show or play a board game. The Internet has been an essential tool for me to reach out and seek support without the same kind of physical commitment necessary for face-to-face friendships. Another thing that has taken me a long time to learn is how to take time alone to do self-care and not feel guilty about it. When my partners really want to make dinner together and play a board game, but I need to go be alone in my room and watch a show, I can feel really guilty about disappointing them. But one of the hardest things I am learning is how not to take on my partners’ disappointment. There are some important ways I’ve learned to navigate these challenges and how they impact my relationships, however.
In conclusion, while dating apps have undoubtedly made it easier for people to meet potential partners, they have also contributed to some negative impacts on the dating scene. Superficiality, inauthenticity, dehumanization, burnout, catfishing and scams, limited communication and lack of in-app advertising transparency are all potential downsides to using dating apps. Dating apps can limit communication between potential partners.
It’s difficult having to get space from one of my partners because their physical closeness makes me feel like I am about to jump out of my skin. Having a lower threshold for noise and crowds means I often leave public spaces or social gatherings early or decline going to them altogether. And my depression and anxiety can mean I end up in my room for days or weeks at a time, unable to spend time with my partners because I feel so low.
Understanding the need to be more explicit with your partner in order to get what you need can help avoid feelings of rejection. For example, you could set alarms for them to call you at specific times of the day just to check in. Or you could remind them you enjoy it when they say “I love you” before leaving the house. Mendes says this approach may feel unromantic to some people but argues it’s important to be explicit and not assume physical or emotional intimacy is going to happen spontaneously.
You quickly made up, and there were a lot of tears from both of you. Your partner had seen the worst of you and loved it deeply, but suddenly this tiny detail was catastrophic. In October 2021, PEOPLE confirmed that the couple had split again. « They are not together right now. They are both good parents though, » a Hadid family friend said at the time.
Sometimes this can be hurtful and appears that he does not prioritize my feelings, but more often I know he isn’t just telling me what I want to hear and instead really is wanting to give me accuracy. If you are lucky enough to capture the heart of a chronically ill or unblock WooPlus neurodivergent person, tread gently and dare to see where it leads. It might just be an adventure you will never forget, and you might learn a thing or two along the way. Neurodiverse people communicate in a very direct manner that can often be misconstrued as « rude ».
